>My Egg

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Joining a mega church was hard for me. Having always attended smaller churches, there was never enough I could do. There were so many opportunities to use my gifts and abilities for God that my biggest challenge was knowing when and how to say no. Although I don’t have any talent I would say is exceptional, I do have a lot of gifts in many areas and have used all of those in some form of another. It is kind of like being a mom. You play cook, nurse, maid, driver, encourager, and often even the bad guy!

Upon coming to a mega church I see so much talent and ability around me. Some truly exceptional gifts! There are also paid staff members that do most of what I have spent my life doing. So, where does that leave me? Because my life has always revolved around ministry, this has been a huge struggle for me the last one and a half year. To the point that, at times, I wonder if God even needs me.

The other day God brought to mind a childhood experience. We were attending a church service in a rural village in Zambia, or, as we would say, a bush church. In those days women and men sat on separate sides of the church. Even if the church met under a tree, there was a dividing line down the middle. During offering and communion, each individual would come forward to the homemade table at the front and either take communion, or leave their offering to God. In this setting, everyone knew who left an offering and who did not.

On this particular Sunday, as we sang, one by one people came forward and dropped 5 ngwee, 20 ngwee and sometimes a kwatcha into the offering basket. One lady came forward, humbly knelt at the table, and put an egg into the basket. We watched, wondering what in the world God could want with an egg. But it was all this lady had.

At the end of the offering, the leader of the church began to auction off the egg. It probably went for more than one would normally buy an egg!

In reality, I don’t know if I actually remember this experience or if I just remember my dad telling the story. Such is the nature of childhood memories. But the lesson is as real to me as any adult memory in my life. She gave what she could, God honored it and used that gift for his ministry.

So I am brought back to my gifts and abilities. I’m bringing God an egg, in a church full of Easter baskets. But it is an egg and it is what I have to offer. How he uses it is his choice. I will just be obedient in bringing to him what I have.

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About shandaoakley

I am a MK and have lived most of my life in Thirld World Countries. This greatly influences how I think, speak and write. I love my husband of 25 years and my three kids, ages 18, 21 and 21. We recently moved to Southern California and have set up life back in the US. I love my home, friends, animals, teaching and mostly Jesus! I believe life is a choice so I choose joy!
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2 Responses to >My Egg

  1. Jackie Sill says:

    >This was really good. And I love that you are being honest with what has been an ongoing struggle. I totally understand. I spent my entire walk working with teenagers and college people and being married to the Youth Pastor, when we came to our church and David took a new type of position–all the ways I knew how to serve vanished. It's been a hard and, yet, fulfilling journey discovering who I am if I am not "the Youth Pastor's wife". But, I wouldn't trade what I have discovered for a night of singing "Kumbaya" around a campfire with all the teens alive. God has shown me and continues to show me that He is enough and that He is not finished with me yet. He isn't finished with you either. Love you.

  2. >Shanda, thank you for sharing this, I so appreciate your openness and vulnerability!You have such valuable unique gifts; for example the way you make others feel welcome and included and also making time to reach into lives that need your touch. It is usually hard for us to see ourselves the way others do. I wish you could see how powerful this is and how truly special you are, from my view, and most especially from God's!There is no question that the body of CCV is significantly better for having you in it. We do need you, God certainly needs you, and it is a special privilege to call you my friend. ~K

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